


how we wish it could be all the time

by Bookhearted_Baggins



Category: The Quest (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Dealing With Loss, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Friendship, In which the Quest isn't a TV show, In-Universe RPF, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-05-12 03:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5651026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookhearted_Baggins/pseuds/Bookhearted_Baggins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles on "what-ifs" and "what-could-have-been's" and "what-i-wish-the-camera-might've-shown"<br/>In-universe fic; the Quest isn't a TV show, the characters aren't actors, and the contestants are actually the chosen ones.<br/>!!!! Chapters are not in chronological order !!!!<br/>Ch. 1: Shondo takes Jim's banishment pretty hard. Lina knows.<br/>Ch. 2: Ansgar can't sit still while Queen Ralia is ill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing I write happened (to my knowledge), but what I think we might've seen if the camera kept rolling

His hands were cold. Thick grief clogged his throat, anger clouded his brow, and his hands were cold. He rubbed them together absently, gaze cast low at Jim’s bed.

What _was_ Jim’s bed.

He shook his head slow, willing it away, but it stuck with him worse than briars to clothes, worse than the muck they’d cloaked themselves with when they’d camped that first night in Marwood forest.

The mud, at least, could be easily washed away.

Light knocking on the open door made Lina’s presence known. She smiled cautiously, wariness weighing down her brow.

“Can I come in?” He gestured her forward and she entered, gracefully. She carried herself proudly, he’d always seen that, but she wasn’t here for pride’s sake. She faltered momentarily before sitting gently on the edge of Jim’s bed.

Or what _had_ been Jim’s bed, before he’d been voted off the quest. By the other paladins; by her.

Neither of them spoke for a moment, Lina gathering her thoughts and Shondo simply waiting. She wrung her hands together lightly, licked her lips, and finally opened her mouth.

“I’m sorry, and before you interrupt-” because Shondo had opened his mouth to stop her, so he closed it as she barreled on, “-I’m sorry that you lost... Jim. I’m sorry he’s gone; we all are, but I know you two were good friends, so, I’m sorry for that.”

He had nothing to say to that; they were, had been. Jim was gone, but Shondo knew he’d always think of Jim as a good friend, if not one of the best. Lina took a stumbling breath before starting again, when she realized this would be a hard conversation coming and he didn’t seem likely to respond.

“And... And I’m sorry that none of us were stronger. I-” she faltered, looking down at her hands with surging regret. “I talked to the other paladins, to Leticia, and a few others... and some of us, we only voted for Christian because-”

“You don’t have to justify it to me,” he interrupted, not unkind, but frowning. Lina owed him nothing, not her sympathy or sorrows, or justifications. He didn’t want that. He wanted to move on from it. That’s what fighters did, and he’d keep fighting for as long as it took.

“I know.” Lina stubbornly kept talking, her gaze fighting, matching his now. “But I found out that more than one of us only voted for Christian because we wanted to, to, I don’t know, to keep our alliances and not get turned on next time we meet the with the Fates. It’s low. I feel- I feel low. I don’t regret choosing Christian, but I just-” she halted, frustrated with herself, for not being able to speak. Shondo watched her with unreadable eyes. It took her a moment, but she gathered herself and stared searchingly at Shondo.

“I feel like it wasn’t the right way to go about it. If we’d been less, cowardly or- _something_ \- I feel like Jim would still be here. Like, if we stood up for ourselves more, if we were less worried about what each other thought, he might still be here tonight instead of Chris, for like, the third time in a row.” she exhaled through her nose heavily. “It’s just, I feel like a lot of us- including myself!- acted a lot less worthy of being the One True Hero tonight than we want to admit. And I feel low because of it.”

She quietly murmured that that’s all she’d wanted to say, and they sat in silence for a while, Shondo turning the information over in his head, trying to make something of it, but all his mind would whisper was _‘that won’t bring him back,’_ over and over. He could feel Lina getting tense amongst the heavy silence, noticed her shift out of his peripheral.

“Does it get easier?” he asked, not looking at her though feeling her stare.

“Sleeping alone. Without your partner, right there. Does it get easier?” She smiled wryly.

“Ashley and I were never as close as you and Jim, Shondo.” She stood and wished him a quiet good night, leaving Shondo to the unfamiliar emptiness of his room once more.

He sat in silence for a few moments more before preparing to sleep; he changed into his nightclothes, blew out the candle and settled into his bed; staring at the ceiling, wondering about the next day, what challenges it would bring, and fighting the restlessness that came without the sound of Jim breathing softly and shifting across from him.

Underneath his head, his hands were still cold.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ansgar can't sit still while Queen Ralia is ill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was rewatching episode 2 and this idea hit me like a pillow fight at the end :')

_ I’m not here to tell stories. _

And he wasn’t, not really. The night the Queen was poisoned, he certainly wasn’t in the mood for it. He had a job to do, after all; so he sent off Crio and the Paladins to work on the antidote before dawn, and went to his troops, training them harder than most days before, teaching tacticians how to be smarter, forcing men and women alike to be stronger. 

He received occasional updates on the Queen’s condition; bad, worse, and when the third messenger came with a grim expression on their face, he simply waved him off already knowing what kind of news would come.

The Vizier was off Fates-know-where, ‘working’ or whatever the skulking magician claimed to do. The Paladins were still out -  _ hopefully _ retrieving the antidote, if he had any faith in them. Before long, all his paperwork and fieldwork were done, and to be fretfully honest, Sir Ansgar was getting very, very antsy- and reasonably so. Every minute that passed meant the Queen was closer to dying. Saenctum would be without its ruler, Everrealm without hope, and Ansgar without a very close friend.

So when lunchtime came he changed out of his maille field suit and into a few choice pieces of his lighter, cleaner leather armor, intercepted the maid bringing the Queen some small, stomachable snacks, and gently knocked on the door before tip-toeing in.

A few maids lingered about, for changing the damp cloth on the sleeping Queen’s forehead when it became lukewarm or  for tipping small amounts of water between her lips whenever she woke, but all parted and seemingly disappeared as  Ansgar strode further into the room (although he was sure they were hiding in the woodwork, the sneaks). He tugged a small, cushioned bench over with his foot and set the tray down on the nightstand, careful not to spill the small pitcher of water or pile of crackers upon it.

Sir Ansgar stood over the Queen for a few minutes, dutifully changing her wetcloth and dabbing at the spare droplets with a rag before sitting down, pouring a small cup of water he would help her with when she woke, which did not take long; she seemed to be drifting in and out of a light sleep, and his rummaging had awoken her.

“S... Ansgar?” she murmured weakly, and he rose for her to see him better. 

“It’s me, my Queen,” he smiled softly at her, and she grinned weakly back. He skin was unnaturally pale, but it took away nothing from her smile.

“What time...” she trailed off, struggling to move her head, but he shushed her and took her hand, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“It’s not been long my Queen, it is midday now. Would you like something to eat? I’ve brought you some crackers-” he began to move towards the table, but she tightened her weak hold on his hand, and he settled when she shook her head, hair swishing gently against the pillows.

“Ansgar,” she muttered, voice a bit hoarse, “call... me Ralia. Have... we not been friends... quite long -” she started coughing, and now he did rise, taking the cup of water in one hand and helping her lean up with the other, and very slowly helped her drink a bit of it. She muttered a thank you when she stopped huffing, and he smiled, returning easily to her side.

“It is nothing, m- Ralia,” he caught himself, “Nothing at all, for so  _ old _ a friend.” At that she swatted lightly at his hand, grin in place. He caught it and gently turned it over his larger, rougher palm, smoothing over her knuckles with his thumb, keeping at it for minutes.

And truly, they had been friends for quite a while, ever since they’d been children in fact. But duty and time had put a wedge between them, as it was wont to do. Oft had they tried to make time for each other, and some days they had managed to make it work, but one could only ignore the day’s work for so long, and being Queen and Queen-general were two titles impossible to shirk, even for a day.

Ralia’s grin faded slowly as she began to fall back into drowsiness, although she fought courageously against it.

“Ansgar,” she whispered, and he had to lean closer to hear her, “would you not tell me the story... about the horses?” At that he gave a startled laughed, grin blinding.

“I would have guessed you knew it already, what with the maids about this place and their gossiping tendencies.” Ralia’s eyes had closed, but her mouth had not;

“I like to hear some stories from the source, my friend.” she opened her mischievously twinkling eyes and he could not help but give in to her.

“Fine, but you must promise not to laugh too hard, and not use your illness to pull another story from my lips,” he grumbled playfully, but made himself comfortable, calloused thumb still rubbing over her freezing hand.

“Representatives from the Lluasa and Sanara kingdoms were due to visit for their bi-annual negotiations that year, when I was learning to ride side-saddle. I was - and still am - terrible at side-saddle, as you  _ definitely  _ know, remember the summer of your first year ruling? Well, instead of falling off a horse in front of the Sanaran and Lluasan caravans, which included the crown children of each, my mentor decided we would have to use a  _ fake  _ leg and cover my lap with a saddle blanket instead. However, your own brother knew that mine was the  _ only  _ horse who was afraid of snakes, and decided to get one of those wooden toy snakes you can get at that one market stall. In the middle of the ceremony, he dropped it in front of my horse--”

Ralia fell asleep with a gentle smile upon her lips, the whispers of a story in her ears, her freezing hand slowly warming.


End file.
